THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

Act 5 Scene 1

(Enter Second Merchant and Angelo the goldsmith)
l1l	Angelo	 I am sorry, sir, that I have hindered you,
l2l		But I protest he had the chain of me,
l3l		Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.
l4l	Second Merchant	How is the man esteemed here in the city?
l5l	Angelo	Of very reverend reputation, sir,
l6l		Of credit infinite, highly beloved,
l7l		Second to none that lives here in the city.
l8l		His word might bear my wealth at any time.
l9l	Second Merchant	Speak softly. Yonder, as I think, he walks.
		( 9 Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, wearing the chain, and Dromio of Syracuse again)
l10l	Angelo	 ’Tis so, and that self chain about his neck
l11l		Which he forswore most monstrously to have.
l12l		Good sir, draw near to me. I’ll speak to him.—
l13l		Signor Antipholus, I wonder much
l14l		That you would put me to this shame and trouble,
l15l		And not without some scandal to yourself,
l16l		With circumstance and oaths so to deny
l17l		This chain, which now you wear so openly.
l18l		Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,
l19l		You have done wrong to this my honest friend,
l20l		Who, but for staying on our controversy,
l21l		Had hoisted sail and put to sea today.
l22l		This chain you had of me. Can you deny it?
l23l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	I think I had. I never did deny it.
l24l	Second Merchant	Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.
l25l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?
l26l	Second Merchant	These ears of mine, thou know’st, did hear thee.
l27l		Fie on thee, wretch! ’Tis pity that thou liv’st
l28l		To walk where any honest men resort.
l29l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Thou art a villain to impeach me thus.
l30l		I’ll prove mine honour and mine honesty
l31l		Against thee presently, if thou dar’st stand.
l32l	Second Merchant	I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.
		( 32 They draw. Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtesan,)
l33l		and others [from the Phoenix]
	Adriana	 Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake# he is mad.
l34l		Some get within him, take his sword away.
l35l		Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.
l36l	Dromio Of Syracuse	Run, master, run! For God’s sake take a house.
l37l		This is some priory—in, or we are spoiled.
		(Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and)
l38l		Dromio of Syracuse to the priory
		(Enter from the priory the Lady Abbess)
		
	Abbess	 Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?
l39l	Adriana	To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.
l40l		Let us come in, that we may bind him fast,
l41l		And bear him home for his recovery.
l42l	Angelo	I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
l43l	Second Merchant	I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
l44l	Abbess	How long hath this possession held the man?
l45l	Adriana	This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,
l46l		And much, much different from the man he was#
l47l		But till this afternoon his passion
l48l		Ne’er brake into extremity of rage.
l49l	Abbess	Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck at sea?
l50l		Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye
l51l		Strayed his affection in unlawful love—
l52l		A sin prevailing much in youthful men,
l53l		Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing?
l54l		Which of these sorrows is he subject to?
l55l	Adriana	To none of these, except it be the last,
l56l		Namely some love that drew him oft from home.
l57l	Abbess	You should for that have reprehended him.
l58l	Adriana	Why, so I did.
	Abbess	Ay, but not rough enough.
l59l	Adriana	As roughly as my modesty would let me.
l60l	Abbess	Haply in private.
l61l	Adriana	And in assemblies too.
l62l	Abbess	Ay, but not enough.
l63l	Adriana	It was the copy of our conference.
l64l		In bed he slept not for my urging it.
l65l		At board he fed not for my urging it.
l66l		Alone, it was the subject of my theme.
l67l		In company I often glancèd it.
l68l		Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
l69l	Abbess	And thereof came it that the man was mad.
l70l		The venom clamours of a jealous woman
l71l		Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
l72l		It seems his sleeps were hindered by thy railing,
l73l		And thereof comes it that his head is light.
l74l		Thou sayst his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings.
l75l		Unquiet meals make ill digestions.
l76l		Thereof the raging fire of fever bred,
l77l		And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?
l78l		Thou sayst his sports were hindered by thy brawls.
l79l		Sweet recreation barred, what doth ensue
l80l		But moody and dull melancholy,
l81l		Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,
l82l		And at her heels a huge infectious troop
l83l		Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?
l84l		In food, in sport, and life-preserving rest
l85l		To be disturbed would mad or man or beast.
l86l		The consequence is, then, thy jealous fits
l87l		Hath scared thy husband from the use of wits.
l88l	Luciana	She never reprehended him but mildly
l89l		When he demeaned himself rough, rude, and wildly.
l90l		(To Adriana)
		 Why bear you these rebukes, and answer not?
l91l	Adriana	She did betray me to my own reproof.—
l92l		Good people, enter, and lay hold on him.
l93l	Abbess	No, not a creature enters in my house.
l94l	Adriana	Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
l95l	Abbess	Neither. He took this place for sanctuary,
l96l		And it shall privilege him from your hands
l97l		Till I have brought him to his wits again,
l98l		Or lose my labour in essaying it.
l99l	Adriana	I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
l100l		Diet his sickness, for it is my office,
l101l		And will have no attorney but myself.
l102l		And therefore let me have him home with me.
l103l	Abbess	Be patient, for I will not let him stir
l104l		Till I have used the approvèd means I have,
l105l		With wholesome syrups, drugs, and holy prayers
l106l		To make of him a formal man again.
l107l		It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
l108l		A charitable duty of my order.
l109l		Therefore depart, and leave him here with me.
l110l	Adriana	I will not hence, and leave my husband here#
l111l		And ill it doth beseem your holiness
l112l		To separate the husband and the wife.
l113l	Abbess	Be quiet and depart. Thou shalt not have him.
		(Exit into the priory)
l114l	Luciana	(to Adriana)
		 Complain unto the Duke of this indignity.
l115l	Adriana	Come, go, I will fall prostrate at his feet,
l116l		And never rise until my tears and prayers
l117l		Have won his grace to come in person hither
l118l		And take perforce my husband from the Abbess.
l119l	Second Merchant	By this, I think, the dial point’s at five.
l120l		Anon, I’m sure, the Duke himself in person
l121l		Comes this way to the melancholy vale,
l122l		The place of death and sorry execution,
l123l		Behind the ditches of the abbey here.
l124l	Angelo	Upon what cause?
l125l	Second Merchant	To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,
l126l		Who put unluckily into this bay
l127l		Against the laws and statutes of this town,
l128l		Beheaded publicly for his offence.
l129l	Angelo	See where they come. We will behold his death.
l130l	Luciana	Kneel to the Duke before he pass the abbey.
		(Enter Solinus Duke of Ephesus, and Egeon the merchant of Syracuse, bareheaded, with the headsman and other officers)
l131l	Duke	 Yet once again proclaim it publicly:
l132l		If any friend will pay the sum for him,
l133l		He shall not die, so much we tender him.
l134l	Adriana	(kneeling)
		 Justice, most sacred Duke, against the Abbess!
l135l	Duke	She is a virtuous and a reverend lady.
l136l		It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
l137l	Adriana	May it please your grace, Antipholus my husband,
l138l		Who I made lord of me and all I had
l139l		At your important letters—this ill day
l140l		A most outrageous fit of madness took him,
l141l		That desp’rately he hurried through the street,
l142l		With him his bondman, all as mad as he,
l143l		Doing displeasure to the citizens
l144l		By rushing in their houses, bearing thence
l145l		Rings, jewels, anything his rage did like.
l146l		Once did I get him bound, and sent him home,
l147l		Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went
l148l		That here and there his fury had committed.
l149l		Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,
l150l		He broke from those that had the guard of him,
l151l		And with his mad attendant and himself,
l152l		Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,
l153l		Met us again, and, madly bent on us,
l154l		Chased us away# till, raising of more aid,
l155l		We came again to bind them. Then they fled
l156l		Into this abbey, whither we pursued them,
l157l		And here the Abbess shuts the gates on us,
l158l		And will not suffer us to fetch him out,
l159l		Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.
l160l		Therefore, most gracious Duke, with thy command
l161l		Let him be brought forth, and borne hence for help.
l162l	Duke	(raising Adriana)
		 Long since, thy husband served me in my wars,
l163l		And I to thee engaged a prince’s word,
l164l		When thou didst make him master of thy bed,
l165l		To do him all the grace and good I could.—
l166l		Go, some of you, knock at the abbey gate,
l167l		And bid the Lady Abbess come to me.
l168l		I will determine this before I stir.
		(Enter a Messenger from the Phoenix)
l169l	Messenger	(to Adriana)
		 O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself!
l170l		My master and his man are both broke loose,
l171l		Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the Doctor,
l172l		Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire,
l173l		And ever as it blazed they threw on him
l174l		Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair.
l175l		My master preaches patience to him, and the while
l176l		His man with scissors nicks him like a fool#
l177l		And sure—unless you send some present help—
l178l		Between them they will kill the conjurer.
l179l	Adriana	Peace, fool. Thy master and his man are here,
l180l		And that is false thou dost report to us.
l181l	Messenger	Mistress, upon my life I tell you true.
l182l		I have not breathed almost since I did see it.
l183l		He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,
l184l		To scorch your face and to disfigure you.
		(Cry within)
l185l		Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress. Fly, be gone!
l186l	Duke	(to Adriana)
		 Come stand by me. Fear nothing. Guard with halberds!
		(Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus from the Phoenix)
l187l	Adriana	 Ay me, it is my husband! Witness you
l188l		That he is borne about invisible.
l189l		Even now we housed him in the abbey here,
l190l		And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.
l191l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Justice, most gracious Duke, O grant me justice,
l192l		Even for the service that long since I did thee,
l193l		When I bestrid thee in the wars, and took
l194l		Deep scars to save thy life# even for the blood
l195l		That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice!
l196l	Egeon	(aside)
		 Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,
l197l		I see my son Antipholus, and Dromio.
l198l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there,
l199l		She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife,
l200l		That hath abusèd and dishonoured me
l201l		Even in the strength and height of injury.
l202l		Beyond imagination is the wrong
l203l		That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
l204l	Duke	Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
l205l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	This day, great Duke, she shut the doors upon me
l206l		While she with harlots feasted in my house.
l207l	Duke	A grievous fault!—Say, woman, didst thou so?
l208l	Adriana	No, my good lord. Myself, he, and my sister
l209l		Today did dine together. So befall my soul
l210l		As this is false he burdens me withal.
l211l	Luciana	Ne’er may I look on day nor sleep on night
l212l		But she tells to your highness simple truth.
l213l	Angelo	(aside)
		 O perjured woman! They are both forsworn.
l214l		In this the madman justly chargeth them.
l215l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	My liege, I am advisèd what I say,
l216l		Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,
l217l		Nor heady-rash provoked with raging ire,
l218l		Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
l219l		This woman locked me out this day from dinner.
l220l		That goldsmith there, were he not packed with her,
l221l		Could witness it, for he was with me then,
l222l		Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
l223l		Promising to bring it to the Porcupine,
l224l		Where Balthasar and I did dine together.
l225l		Our dinner done, and he not coming thither,
l226l		I went to seek him. In the street I met him,
l227l		And in his company that gentleman.
		(He points to the Second Merchant)
l228l		There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down
l229l		That I this day of him received the chain,
l230l		Which, God he knows, I saw not. For the which
l231l		He did arrest me with an officer.
l232l		I did obey, and sent my peasant home
l233l		For certain ducats. He with none returned.
l234l		Then fairly I bespoke the officer
l235l		To go in person with me to my house.
l236l		By th’ way, we met my wife, her sister, and a rabble more
l237l		Of vile confederates. Along with them
l238l		They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain,
l239l		A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
l240l		A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller,
l241l		A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch,
l242l		A living dead man. This pernicious slave,
l243l		Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer,
l244l		And gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
l245l		And with no face, as ’twere, outfacing me,
l246l		Cries out I was possessed. Then all together
l247l		They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence,
l248l		And in a dark and dankish vault at home
l249l		There left me and my man, both bound together,
l250l		Till, gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
l251l		I gained my freedom, and immediately
l252l		Ran hither to your grace, whom I beseech
l253l		To give me ample satisfaction
l254l		For these deep shames and great indignities.
l255l	Angelo	My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him:
l256l		That he dined not at home, but was locked out.
l257l	Duke	But had he such a chain of thee, or no?
l258l	Angelo	He had, my lord, and when he ran in here
l259l		These people saw the chain about his neck.
l260l	Second Merchant	(to Antipholus)
		 Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
l261l		Heard you confess you had the chain of him,
l262l		After you first forswore it on the mart,
l263l		And thereupon I drew my sword on you#
l264l		And then you fled into this abbey here,
l265l		From whence I think you are come by miracle.
l266l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	I never came within these abbey walls,
l267l		Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me.
l268l		I never saw the chain, so help me heaven,
l269l		And this is false you burden me withal.
l270l	Duke	Why, what an intricate impeach is this!
l271l		I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.
l272l		If here you housed him, here he would have been.
l273l		If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly.
l274l		(To Adriana)
		 You say he dined at home, the goldsmith here
l275l		Denies that saying.
		(To Dromio)
		 Sirrah, what say you?
l276l	Dromio Of Ephesus	(pointing out the Courtesan)
		 Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porcupine.
l277l	Courtesan	He did, and from my finger snatched that ring.
l278l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	’Tis true, my liege, this ring I had of her.
l279l	Duke	(to Courtesan)
		 Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?
l280l	Courtesan	As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
l281l	Duke	Why, this is strange. Go call the Abbess hither.
l282l		I think you are all mated, or stark mad.
		(Exit one to the priory)
l283l	Egeon	(coming forward)
		 Most mighty Duke, vouchsafe me speak a word.
l284l		Haply I see a friend will save my life,
l285l		And pay the sum that may deliver me.
l286l	Duke	Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
l287l	Egeon	(to Antipholus)
		 Is not your name, sir, called Antipholus?
l288l		And is not that your bondman Dromio?
l289l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Within this hour I was his bondman, sir,
l290l		But he, I thank him, gnawed in two my cords.
l291l		Now am I Dromio, and his man, unbound.
l292l	Egeon	I am sure you both of you remember me.
l293l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you#
l294l		For lately we were bound as you are now.
l295l		You are not Pinch’s patient, are you, sir?
l296l	Egeon	Why look you strange on me? You know me well.
l297l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	I never saw you in my life till now.
l298l	Egeon	O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last,
l299l		And careful hours with time’s deformèd hand
l300l		Have written strange defeatures in my face.
l301l		But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
l302l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	 Neither.
l303l	Egeon	Dromio, nor thou?
l304l	Dromio Of Ephesus	No, trust me sir, nor I.
l305l	Egeon	I am sure thou dost.
l306l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not, and
l307l		whatsoever a man denies, you are now bound to believe
l308l		him.
l309l	Egeon	 Not know my voice? O time’s extremity,
l310l		Hast thou so cracked and splitted my poor tongue
l311l		In seven short years that here my only son
l312l		Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?
l313l		Though now this grainèd face of mine be hid
l314l		In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,
l315l		And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
l316l		Yet hath my night of life some memory,
l317l		My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,
l318l		My dull deaf ears a little use to hear.
l319l		All these old witnesses, I cannot err,
l320l		Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
l321l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	I never saw my father in my life.
l322l	Egeon	But seven years since, in Syracusa bay,
l323l		Thou know’st we parted. But perhaps, my son,
l324l		Thou sham’st to acknowledge me in misery.
l325l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	The Duke, and all that know me in the city,
l326l		Can witness with me that it is not so.
l327l		I ne’er saw Syracusa in my life.
l328l	Duke	(to Egeon)
		 I tell thee, Syracusian, twenty years
l329l		Have I been patron to Antipholus,
l330l		During which time he ne’er saw Syracusa.
l331l		I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.
		(Enter from the priory the Abbess, with Antipholus)
l332l		of Syracuse, wearing the chain, and Dromio of Syracuse
	Abbess	 Most mighty Duke, behold a man much wronged.
		(All gather to see them)
l333l	Adriana	 I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
l334l	Duke	One of these men is genius to the other:
l335l		And so of these, which is the natural man,
l336l		And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?
l337l	Dromio Of Syracuse	I, sir, am Dromio. Command him away.
l338l	Dromio Of Ephesus	I, sir, am Dromio. Pray let me stay.
l339l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	Egeon, art thou not? Or else his ghost.
l340l	Dromio Of Syracuse	O, my old master, who hath bound him here?
l341l	Abbess	Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds,
l342l		And gain a husband by his liberty.
l343l		Speak, old Egeon, if thou beest the man
l344l		That hadst a wife once called Emilia,
l345l		That bore thee at a burden two fair sons.
l346l		O, if thou beest the same Egeon, speak,
l347l		And speak unto the same Emilia.
l348l	Duke	Why, here begins his morning story right:
l349l		These two Antipholus’, these two so like,
l350l		And these two Dromios, one in semblance—
l351l		Besides his urging of her wreck at sea.
l352l		These are the parents to these children,
l353l		Which accidentally are met together.
l354l	Egeon	If I dream not, thou art Emilia.
l355l		If thou art she, tell me, where is that son
l356l		That floated with thee on the fatal raft?
l357l	Abbess	By men of Epidamnum he and I
l358l		And the twin Dromio all were taken up.
l359l		But, by and by, rude fishermen of Corinth
l360l		By force took Dromio and my son from them,
l361l		And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
l362l		What then became of them I cannot tell#
l363l		I, to this fortune that you see me in.
l364l	Duke	(to Antipholus of Syracuse)
		 Antipholus, thou cam’st from Corinth first.
l365l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	No, sir, not I. I came from Syracuse.
l366l	Duke	Stay, stand apart. I know not which is which.
l367l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord.
l368l	Dromio Of Ephesus	And I with him.
l369l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Brought to this town by that most famous warrior,
l370l		Duke Menaphon, your most renownèd uncle.
l371l	Adriana	Which of you two did dine with me today?
l372l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	I, gentle mistress.
l373l	Adriana	And are not you my husband?
l374l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	No, I say nay to that.
l375l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	And so do I. Yet did she call me so#
l376l		And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,
l377l		Did call me brother.
		(To Luciana)
		 What I told you then
l378l		I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
l379l		If this be not a dream I see and hear.
l380l	Angelo	That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
l381l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	I think it be, sir. I deny it not.
l382l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	(to Angelo)
		 And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.
l383l	Angelo	I think I did, sir. I deny it not.
l384l	Adriana	(to Antipholus of Ephesus)
		 I sent you money, sir, to be your bail,
l385l		By Dromio, but I think he brought it not.
l386l	Dromio Of Ephesus	No, none by me.
l387l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	(to Adriana)
		 This purse of ducats I received from you,
l388l		And Dromio my man did bring them me.
l389l		I see we still did meet each other’s man,
l390l		And I was ta’en for him, and he for me,
l391l		And thereupon these errors are arose.
l392l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	These ducats pawn I for my father here.
l393l	Duke	It shall not need. Thy father hath his life.
l394l	Courtesan	Sir, I must have that diamond from you.
l395l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	There, take it, and much thanks for my good cheer.
l396l	Abbess	Renownèd Duke, vouchsafe to take the pains
l397l		To go with us into the abbey here,
l398l		And hear at large discoursèd all our fortunes,
l399l		And all that are assembled in this place,
l400l		That by this sympathizèd one day’s error
l401l		Have suffered wrong. Go, keep us company,
l402l		And we shall make full satisfaction.
l403l		Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail
l404l		Of you, my sons, and till this present hour
l405l		My heavy burden ne’er deliverèd.
l406l		The Duke, my husband, and my children both,
l407l		And you the calendars of their nativity,
l408l		Go to a gossips’ feast, and joy with me.
l409l		After so long grief, such festivity!
l410l	Duke	With all my heart I’ll gossip at this feast.
		(Exeunt into the priory all but the two Dromios and two brothers Antipholus)
l411l	Dromio Of Syracuse	(to Antipholus of Ephesus)
		 Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?
l412l	Antipholus Of Ephesus	Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embarked?
l413l	Dromio Of Syracuse	Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.
l414l	Antipholus Of Syracuse	He speaks to me.—I am your master, Dromio.
l415l		Come, go with us. We’ll look to that anon.
l416l		Embrace thy brother there# rejoice with him.
		(Exeunt the brothers Antipholus)
l417l	Dromio Of Syracuse	 There is a fat friend at your master’s house,
l418l		That kitchened me for you today at dinner.
l419l		She now shall be my sister, not my wife.
l420l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Methinks you are my glass and not my brother.
l421l		I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.
l422l		Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
l423l	Dromio Of Syracuse	 Not I, sir, you are my elder.
l424l	Dromio Of Ephesus	That’s a question. How shall we try
l425l		it?
l426l	Dromio Of Syracuse	We’ll draw cuts for the senior. Till
l427l		then, lead thou first.
l428l	Dromio Of Ephesus	Nay, then thus:
l429l		We came into the world like brother and brother,
l430l		And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.
		(Exeunt to the priory)